I’m going to keep this to the point. Otherwise this will turn into the most teen-angsty thing you’ve ever read in your entire dang life.
So here’s the deal.
There’s this thing Jesus said that speaks volumes more than what is seen on the surface, just because of the context of it. In Mark 14:62, “Jesus said, ‘I am, and you will see me, the Son of Man, sitting at God’s right hand in the place of power and coming back on the clouds of heaven.”
When I see that verse standing alone, I think to myself that it is one that should fit into a peaceful setting. Like, something Jesus would say in a calm pasture as he holds children and pets sheep.
Or, you know, at least from a point of power. Those were some pretty bold statements He was making, after all. It sounds like something He would say as the winds and the waves bow to His command.
But these words were spoken as Jesus stood trial before the high priest, as He was bound and held captive, preparing to be condemned to crucifixion.
That is literally the last thing I would say if I were Him and were at such a low point. I can’t imagine saying, “You will see me in a place of power,” as I am thrown to the ground and beaten.
Just like my life right now. I can’t imagine at all saying that I have a future, or that my life has a purpose, or that I am more than a conqueror in Christ, or that I am loved by my Father in heaven, or that I will see my dreams come true, or that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. All of these things that I’ve been told are truth do not feel like truth when doctors look really worried and make me lie down because I look like I’m going to pass out and tell me that after they’ve tried everything they don’t know what’s wrong with me, or when I can’t stand because my head is spinning, or when I can’t work anymore or hardly get out of bed because I feel like I’m going to die, or when my bank account is draining because I can’t float the bill to keep myself going, or when I put on this show of explaining to everyone my goals and ambitions for going to school and getting a degree in social working when I know for a fact that I will never be able to afford it, or when my car that I spent months worth of paychecks on breaks down every day, or when all I want to do is run back to all of my destructive patterns to find consolation and temporary escapes from reality because it sounds less painful, or when I see my life following patterns that I used to pray would never be allowed to have any influence over me, or you know, any number of other normal teen problems. Because when this is where I am at, I am not running around quoting scripture or keeping my focus on what promises I’ve believed to be true thus far. I am saying, “I can’t do this, I don’t want to do this, I won’t do this.”
God. The angst. I apologize.
But here is my point. If Jesus can speak truth- infinite, eternal, living, definite truth- while in a setting that seems to contradict the words He is speaking, why can’t we?
Truth is Truth, regardless of setting or circumstance.
He has proven Himself to me way too many times for me to doubt His provision. When I moved out, He dropped random sources of income on me that I did not even know I needed. I would always find that I had exactly what I needed to keep going, and not an ounce more, until I looked to Him to provide again. This was like, three months ago. Have I already forgotten how powerful He is or how much He must care for me?
But don’t we all do the same thing? We too often sacrifice clinging to infinite Truth because we are too busy clinging to temporary situations or uncertain circumstances. His truth, His promises – they are true when nothing else is. They are stable when we are not. He is all-powerful when we are incapable. God is God when nothing else is as it should be.
Jesus was confident in His identity and His purpose and the Father’s approval of Him, even as He was on trial to be beaten and mercilessly killed by the ones He came to serve. If He could be that confident, why can’t we be just as confident in our identity and in our purpose and in our Father’s approval when we face our own trials?
It takes a lot of willpower, but I guess I should start following Jesus as my example.
Again. The angst. The run-on sentences. I apologize.